Julia's Blog

I'm on strike today.  It's not a universal popular move, but I don't care.  It won't kill my little lot to have another day off, and in real terms, we are being paid less and less each year, and I work 8 til 6 most days except holidays, so I don't mind really.  I don't really like stopping work though, I think it's probably not a good move for the profession as a whole, and I don't feel that the public feeling is behind the public sector anymore.  When the Guardian is being rude about us, maybe, just maybe, strikes are a thing of the past.  I don't know.  All I really care about at the moment is the radish, and she wants to play all the time, so I'm exhausted and it's been really ace to have a long lie in.  *selfish*

What else?  I only have 12 weeks left until the end of term, so I am happy about that.  I am also happy that my maternity leave starts in September and I can put all this politics stuff behind me and just concentrate on one child.  

I think I'm going to go for a swim to calm myself down.  Thinking about the NUT makes me irritated.

Well, that's not true, but I really can't remember what happened to me last month, and it wasn't exciting about to write about at the time either.  I know that I managed to stop feeling sick, we had Easter, the baby grew another inch or so, and oh yes, we moved house!  So it was very interesting really, and I'm just being silly.  

We're now in a very lovely new house in Ealing, and it has three bedrooms (one little baby one that needs redecorating for our little radish, one medium size guest one and one large and wonderful one for us), a bathroom with no natural light but which feels light and airy anyway, a living room and a large kitchen/diner with a conservatory at the back, and it is just great.  It really needs recarpeting as I suspect that the previous occupants fitted the caprets themselves and they are filthy dirty and don't fit properly.  It could do with a repaint, as the colours aren't great, but nevermind.  But it is super, super great and I love it and I'm really happy.  

I've also sold my flat, which means that I am now almost totally out of debt except for student loans.  Hurrah.  I am very relieved.  

What else?  We have had guests all weekend - first my parents and brother, then my colleagues Dan and Anna and Dan's wife Susie, who is also pregnant, so a bit of a boring evening for poor Anna, and I am knackered.  Fortunately I have only 12 more Mondays until I effectively go on maternity leave - it officially starts in September, but to be honest, it'll start in July when the term ends.  That reminds me, I need to arrange some twilight INSET courses in order to have an extra day off.  Bloody rubbish.  

Back to school tomorrow, so I have to have a bath and an early night.  What super dooper fun.

Apparently, I am an expert on Reception to Year One transitions, and have been recognised as such by the Local Authority, which unfortunately meant that I had to stand up and chat unprepared about what I do at school, secure in the knowledge that I haven't really done that much of it since Christmas, as I've been feeling too rubbish, but that I do get a lot of support from the SMT, and that my school is great and we do everything properly and accept that Year One children are babies at the beginning, and that some of them are still babies even now, and that some will not progress much this year, and the majority of their progress will be further up the school, and apparently many places don't allow for this, and expect them to work from the beginning, so I was OK and rubbished along with the best of them. 

Part of me was terrified, but most of me felt gratified that my genius was recognised.  About time too.  I'm a bit sad, in a way,  that I'm not going to be there next year, and I'm actually going to miss my job.  Sort of.  That sounds wrong and wierd and a bit sad, but I do love it very much.  Even Parham.  

This "genius that is Julia" recognition has made me want to put a bit more effort into the job, which is a good thing at the moment.  *re-motivated*

I can't believe it's been over a month since I wrote anything.  So, what's happened?

Actually quite a lot.  I told everyone about the baby, which was exciting.  Everyone's very happy, but not really that surprised.  Most people have been expecting it since before we got married, so everyone was very happy, as of course they should be.  I told everyone at Simon's birthday meal, which was on the Friday after Valentine's Day, and as it was a curry, I sat there feeling very ill and sick and pushing korma around my plate.  I think it's the garlic to be be honest.  On his actual birthday, I took him out for tapas, and ate about three mouthfuls, and then felt sick, so that was a fun and exciting meal.  Lots of garlic in tapas.  Then on the Saturday after his birthday, we went out to a party in Islington, after eating spag bol with lots of garlic, and that time I was sick - although that could have been because I had eaten a carrot that tasted of garlic.  How unpleasantly physical being pregnant is.  I wasn't expecting a deeply spiritual and earth-motheresque wafting through the trees and fields in a white dress singing experience, but I am quite disappointed about how very, very physical it is.  

Anyway, during half term we went to Venice, which was glorious, and I loved it.  It was a bit cold, but really very beautiful.  We stayed with my friend Joe, who has been living out there for the past 8 months and is practically a native now.  He's coming home in the next few weeks, and it'll be really lovely to see him.  He's an actor and has been working in a show, called Carnivale, which is about the history of Venice and is full of poor dialogue and dodgy and over long film bits, and costs many many millions to make.  They're paying him a fortune and putting him up in a flat just off St Mark's Square.  Unbelievable really.  He hates the production, but is very grateful for the chance to be in Venice.  As you would be.  We took lots of photos, but Simon has taken his camera to Edinburgh on a stag do, so I can't do anything with them.  I went on the hen do yesterday - it was somewhat subdued, but good fun.  We went on a treasure hunt around London, which was great, and then we went for a meal, which made me feel sick again.  Goody.  Apparently the morning sickness should be abating now.  *mutters*

I've been home alone pregnant wife this weekend.  So I went to Waitrose and spent lots of money on the credit card that Simon pays for, so that'll teach him.

Anyway.  Here is the picture from my scan - it is really clear, so there's no peering at the blob and saying "o yes, I can see the baby" and then belming me.  

The sonographer pressed a bit too hard, and the baby went mad - punching, kicking, throwing him/herself all over the place.  The Radish has got a bit of a temper.  She's still very small - 5.2 cm from head to bum - but she looks like a proper little person already.  I'm so happy.

Until today that is, when I heard the baby's heartbeat, so I am now waundering around and grinning like a loonie.  I'm so happy.

What a wonderful voice and such a loss.  The BBC 4 documentary is absolutely fascinating.  Shame it's got Jamie Cullen as a talking head.  Mind you it's got lots history of jazz people and history of 20th century America people too.  

Had a really boring day - spent most of it asleep.  I love pregnancy.  *mutters*

I have to write an assembly tomorrow as well as all that planning stuff.  Bollocks.

Well, it's very exciting.  Now I am officially carrying a foetus not an embryo.  It's just as uncomfortable as it was when I was carrying an embryo.  

At least, according to all sources - my baby book, the internet etc. - the morning sickness/general feeling shitty will pass in the next four weeks, in time for my scan.  Goody.  Just another few weeks to go.  I love it.

School's fine.  I had to do a proper cross today to get the little monsters to tidy up.  It frightened the life out of them.  Hahahaha. 

It sort of scans.

Anyway, today has been a good day, except for nearly being very very sick in the staff room.  It was all the different smells attacking me at once I think, but apparently I was absolutely white.  What a lovely thing that was.

But.  Today I got confirmation that I am having the baby at Queen Charlotte's hospital, and I have my first scan/appointment on the 28th of February.  A month away.  How terribly, terribly exciting.  

I feel sick again.

*mutters* 

I don't really enjoy being pregnant at the moment.  I feel just plain horrid.  Sick and tired and grumpy and fed up.  I nearly cried at work today.  Lucky old me.  

I'm watching Sarah Beany on the tv, she looks radiantly pregnant and lovely.  *stabs*

Today has been quite hard work.  *cries and cries*  I'm supposed to be cutting and gluing and laminating tonight, but I'm not, because I feel too ill, so I'll have to pull my finger out tomorrow.  *mutters*

Oh yes, I did the Baron-Cohen AQ test thing last night - I am averagely autistic for a male scientist and a male or female physicist.  I suppose it figures.

That's all.  *super bad mood* 

Yeuch.  I am suffering.  But I don't complain.  I barely mention the ALL DAY NAUSEA and the TOTAL INABILITY TO EAT ANYTHING  and the SORE BOOBS and the GENERAL EXHAUSTION. 

Anyway.  This weekend was lovely.  My parents came down on Friday night and we went to a expensive restaurant in Ealing, where the rest of the family ate and drank loads and I picked at a coq au vin.  Oh well, I had two delicious glasses of tomato juice, so I suppose that counts as a balanced meal.  We went to Kew on Saturday morning - which was lovely.  The daffs are just starting to come out and the crocuses are blooming all over the place, and it was such a beautiful weekend, the Henry Moores looked great.  Even the massive white plaster one that we don't like.

I slept a lot on Saturday - my brother came over for the evening, and we went to the pub, and I slept for most of the afternoon.  Wonderful.  I had a little sleep on Sunday day time too - and I just felt far too dreadful to do anything active like go to knitting club.  So I didn't get to show off my finished work.

Here are some pictures:



This is Charlotte's birthday jumper.  It is in Cashmerino, and is lovely and soft and cosy.  I want to make a cardigan for myself in that wool, and I'm going to make a jumper for my baby in the same wool.



This is Lucy's cardigan.  It's beautiful, if I say so myself.  I love the little daisy buttons.  I am going to make my baby one as well, using a different colour if it's a boy.  I don't think this particular shade of yellow is good for boys.  

What else?  School was alright.  I quite enjoyed it.  Apart from the constant nausea of course.

I'm still reading The Floating Book, The Rough Guide to Pregnancy and Knitting Rules!  They're all fairly low intellect.  I like that in a book.

Seven weeks now.  How exciting.  I've got to see the doctor every four weeks for the next few months, and I've been booked in for all my antenatal care - I haven't been allocated a hospital yet, but I will soon.  It will either be Queen Charlotte, which is in White City, just next to Wormwood Scrubs (*thumbs up*) or Ealing Hospital which is just down the road in Southall.  I don't really have a preference, although Ealing is apparently horrid.  As long as the maternity bit is clean (and the doctor said that she'd never had any complaints) and the doctors use careful language - and not words like gestation and natural wastage and spontaneous abortion - I'll be fine.   Doctors.  Honestly.  What a load of wallies.

The sickness is still there.  Yay.  I'm sure it will pass, I am sucking sweets at school, which help - sugar with nothing in my tummy to make it feel fuller and more upset - and eating lots of fruit and veg, and not as many biscuits and bad for me things, apart from sweets, obviously.  I love this.  I'm sure it will pass, and at least it reminds me that I am actually pregnant, and that I'm not just stressed out of my tiny mind.  Like I was the last time I missed three periods.  It was my NQT year - the first term - and I was shattered.

I suspect that I may have been misunderstood when I wrote: "My friend supposes that anyone with tattooes must have been in prison, and doesn't seem open to the fact that just because she doesn't want to have them, they're only to be found on people who are less intelligent than her, or less educated."  She assumes that people who have tattooes are thick and uneducated - she can't understand why anyone would want one.  I wouldn't want one myself, because it might hurt basically, but I can see why other people might.  I am blaming the baby brain.  Or the fact that I sit and write and watch telly, and then get distracted by something shiny and then have a little sleep on the keyboard.  Anyway.  She is a snob and I am not.  The End.

I read in my Observer big book of dodgy facts that a British woman who is pregnant can wee wherever she wants, even in a policeman's hat if she wants.  I would very much like this to be true.  PC Neenaw, please can you advise.

The kids are alright at the moment.  I am letting them play a lot - they need it, and I really don't feel well enough to do a lot of teaching.  I'm doing lots and lots of intensive small group work, and they are doing just fine.  I am very pleased with some of them.  Some of them are little gits mind.

I've nearly finished the yellow cardigan.  It has sweet little buttons.

So.  I've been feeling really nauseous all day.  I love this.  I was muttering about being ill at my knitting workshop this afternoon, and I was starting to wonder whether it was all worth it, when a lovely little baby waved and gooed and smiled at me, and I realised that, of course, it is, and I should just grip up and stop moaning.  Oatcakes help with the nausea, so I'm eating lots of them, as do juices - particularly grape juice and tomato juice.  

The baby really, really doesn't like red wine though.  I had a very small glass last night, and I think that's why I've been so ill today.  I'm not going to do that again.  Bleurgh.

I learned how to do cables today.  They are actually quite easy.  I am pleased.  I'm not sure they're a good idea on items for me, but I will make something for Simon with cables and also something for the baby.  How exciting.  

Last night, we had some of my friends from school round, and I was very shocked by some of Katherine's opinions.  She really is an intellectual snob - she supposes that anyone with tattooes must have been in prison, and doesn't seem open to the fact that just because she doesn't want to have them, they're only to be found on people who are less intelligent than her, or less educated.  I was very surprised by her really.  I suppose she lives in a bit of a rarefied atmosphere - she and her boyfriend are both associates at big City law firms, and they probably don't meet the general public that often.  Ho hum.

Anyway, it was a fun evening and we didn't tell them about the baby, so it was lovely having a secret all to ourselves.  

Not much else going on.  I don't want fish tonight - it's the wrong texture, so I think we'll have a curry.  Obviously it's not as good for me, but I don't care.  I can't face the sliminess of smoked mackerel, the thought of it is making me gag.

It will be worth it.  This stage will be over soon.  It will be worth it.  This stage will be over soon.  It will be worth it.  This stage will be over soon.  It will be worth it.  This stage will be over soon.  It will be worth it.  This stage will be over soon.  It will be worth it.  etc.

I've started reading The Floating Book by M R Lovric.  It appears to be all about sex in Venice, and possibly sex with Venice.  It's well written though.

*That's what my brother said when he met one of my exes.  I found his picture on Facebook.  He still looks like a potato.  *points and laughs*

 We went round to Molly and Hannah's today.  I gave them their Christmas presents and they were suitably unimpressed by them but were made to put them on and pose for pictures with me in them.  Both the jumper and the cardigan are a bit big, but lots of room for growth, and I suppose the girls are much too young to really like clothes, so their muted reaction is to be expected.  I am supposed to be tidying up as we have people coming tonight, but as Simon has done nothing so far and I have done all the cooking, I am on strike now. 

Bah.  I need to put peppers in the oven and do other things.  Including tidying. 

Last night, I was taken to the cinema.  To see I am Legend.  Simon "didn't know it had vampires in" and thought I'd enjoy it.  I was very upset by it - I don't like vampires like that, I like sexy Gothic vampires, not bald scarey ones who lurk in the dark and scream with lipless mouths.  *frightened*  It made me cry a bit too.  

So, not a success.  

Today has been fun, I've been feeling as sick as a parrot all day.  I had some prawn cocktail crisps earlier, and they made me feel a bit better, but then the kids had clemantines for their fruit snack, and that set me off again.  I'm six weeks again - it's very exciting.

I feel terribly sorry for Lily Allen.  I'd like to give her a big hug - poor thing.  I read about it at lunchtime and I nearly cried.  AGAIN.

I'm a poker widow tonight, Simon and his friends are out playing poker and drinking and they won't be back until the early hours.  I hope to be asleep by the time he gets back - and I'm going to sleep across the whole bed.  

Lark-Rise to Candleford is OK - but a bit dull.  *bored*  I'm not going to bother. 

I'm reading "A Most Contagious Game" by Catherine Aird.  It's quite good.

So we had a bit of a windy day at school today. Which meant that the kids were farting away like good 'uns and the weather's been really bad, so the little ones were completely mental. Goody.

Thirteen Things I have cooked this year (and am planning to cook as well) 1.    Lentil, bacon and pearl barley soup. A bit slimey, but very yummy. 2.    Vanilla custard from scratch. 3.    Apple and Blackberry crumble with lovely crunchy apples, and blackberries from a jar. 4.    A ham with an orange and honey glaze. 5.    Stuffed peppers with lamb mince, lentils and things. 6.    Biscuits: chocolate chip with raisins and hazelnuts. 7.    Stuffed peppers with roasted vegetables, mushrooms and yummy veggie things. 8.    A chocolate cloud cake without flour from one of Nigella's books.  9.     A yummy casserole with all sorts of exciting things. 10.  Chicken with pasta and vegetables and stuff. 11.  A veggie pasta thing with lots of competing flavours. 12.  Grilled chicken with quinoa and vegetables. 13.  Not really cooking, but I made a pistachio and honey topping for yoghurt as well.

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I finished reading another book last night: The Safety of Objects by AM Homes.  Brilliantly written but quite disturbing - 11 year girls being sexually assaulted, a teenager having sex with a Barbie doll and  a mother killing her son who is in a coma.  It was a bit sad as well.

I don't even like gravy.  

I learned something the other day.  The BBC London News reader lady is called Riz Lateef, not Rizla Teeth, which is what I've always thought her name was.  I learned this from an extremely amused husband.  *stabs*

We are going to go to Venice soon too.  I have a dear friend from university who is living there at the moment - he is an ac-tor dahling and is in a show about Venice (or something, it sounds a bit pony to me) so we are going out there to have an interesting few days.  Simon has never been, and I love going there.  It's so glamourous on the surface, but it's all falling apart and smells funny.  A bit like [enter celebrity of choice here] really.  We're going to go in half term, if Simon can take the time off.

He didn't get his new job :(  The woman in charge wanted some one a bit more authoritarian (ie older), and Simon's friendly, lovely manner didn't suit her.  I, of course, think she's mad.  On the positive side, the people at RM in Oxford have offered him a job any time if he fancies it, and will let him know if there's anything going nearer to us.  In a way, I'm a bit relieved - I don't think I could cope with a new job, a new house and a new baby all at the same time.  

Gosh.  On the telly at the moment is a bloke talking about using the river as a way of transporting stuff around.  All these green-ness is bringing back all sorts of traditional crafts and ways of life.  How lovely.  *knits all baby's clothes*

School was good.  Two of my colleagues came in to observe four of my EAL children today.  They commented on the fact that my children were mostly on task, and that it was difficult to tell if they weren't able to understand because their English is poor or because they aren't actually listening to me.  I suspect a little from column A and a little from column B in some cases and mostly column B in Parham's case.  Seriously, when the boy adds one to 5 ON HIS FINGERS and gets 10, there's something wrong.  Little sod.  They were very impressed by me and my professional manner too.  

I've had two new children this week, a boy and a girl.  The boy is GORGEOUS, really smiley and kind and interested in everything and probably quite bright.  His mum is a bit worried about him, because he struggles with reading and writing, but I'm not at the moment.  I'm going to assess him this week, but I'm letting him settle in gradually - it's quite a big jump for a little boy - they don't take well to change, but this one seems very happy with my little ones.  

The little girl has never been to school before.  She hasn't been to Nursery or Reception or anything at all.  Understandably, she can do NOTHING.  Nothing at all.  She can't even roll on the ground in a controlled manner ffs.  And of course, she's barely socialised.  How wonderful.  She's not even a recent arrival to the UK - she was born here and only speaks English (which is something at least), but her parents wanted her to go to the "best" school in Ealing, but they aren't in the catchment area, so I assume that the LEA has just told her that she is coming to our school.  Lucky, lucky me.  She's not eating either, because she doesn't like the smell in the hall at lunchtime, and she is really rude to me, and keeps on bloody talking on the carpet.  I know I should be more sympathetic towards her, but she annoys me a bit, because she is just a spoilt brat.  Ho hum.

I've totally frogged that stupid DPN using raglan thing.  *mutters*  But I'm making the same thing with a very different and much, much simpler pattern made by me.  So it's going to be finished quite soon - it's keeping the offsetted-ness of the original and the lovely mistake ribs, but it's not done in one piece and it involves sewing and no horrible DPN.  I really don't like them at all.  No socks.  Never.

I don't know what else to say.  Today has been unmemorable.

We had an INSET training twilight session this afternoon and now I have to start with questions at all times, making sure that they promote creative thinking.  These are questions like "What would happen if I changed this?"  "What if there were no worms in the world?"  and other similarly stupid sounding questions.   I quite enjoy these sorts of things, so I'm quite interested in it.  I'm not sure whether it will help my kids with the main purpose of Year One which is learning to read, but it might make them a bit more switched on to learning, and I think they'll probably have fun doing it as well.

In other news, we are getting a 2.45% payrise.  I don't know the implications for maternity leave, but it's pretty good news.  I feel a bit angry on behalf of the other public sector workers though - we should all be valued equally.  *nods*  Although, I expect that that would push up inflation even more.  I don't know.

Everything is proceeding nicely with the house sale and purchase.  My buyer has had her survey done, which is fabulous, and the buyers for this place are getting theirs done this week, and we are the ones dragging our heels.  We haven't got our mortgage agreed yet, but when we do, we'll get our survey done, so that will be that.

It is very exciting.  It is all go here.  *exhausted*

I am exhausted.  Stupid children.  I'm finding it increasingly difficult to care about them, which I know is completely wrong, but I'm just so tired, and I can't be bothered with them and their horrible badly behaved ways when I've got a baby of my own to think about..  

Anyway.  I'm going to try really hard not to quack on about being pregnant, I know it is actually really boring for everyone else.  Also, there is nothing new to report - once I get scans and kicks and stuff, I'll be really really happy.

So.  Knitting.  I am making a cardigan for my friends Dan and Ruth's baby.  She is about 2 months old, so I've made this thing suitable for a 3-6 month old child.  It is a super badly written pattern.  I've read it time and time again, and it doesn't make any sense.  I'm making it up as I go along, and I'm tearing my hair out.  Grr.  But, the end result is really gorgeous, so I am going to write down all my modifications and make it again.  But I'll have to use a different sort of wool, as the one I'm using now is discontinued, which is a terrible shame as it is beautiful and warm and soft and cosy.

This is what the cardigan looks like at the moment.  I am struggling with those DPN.  I've never used the damn things before, and I don't like them at all.  

What fun it all is.

So, today, we went to Kew.  But muggins here left her season ticket at home, so we couldn't get in for free, and it's a bit too expensive to just pop in.  I was so pleased with myself for remembering my credit card and my Tesco's card, and I didn't need my handbag, lalala, forgetting of course that my season ticket was in my wallet, which was in my handbag.  

Oh well, it's not that far to Kew, and we can go any time we like, but it's still frustrating.  

That's all we've done today.  I love Sundays.